you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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