At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
