don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
