if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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