i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
