Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
this will be a night to untag.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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