Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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