The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
