hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
