I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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