pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
