I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I understand Curling. That high.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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