Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
