so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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