doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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