Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
