there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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