My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She bit a glass in half.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
