im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
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i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
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I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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