hotel room ftw
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.