Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.