using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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