did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We just shotgunned beers for America
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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