24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
