Can i not drive my cunt home
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
