I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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