Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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