Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
This house was built for laser tag.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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