for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
