I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
