it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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