I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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