i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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