i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
