Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
