plz talk dirty to me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
