please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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