Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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