Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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