I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
