Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
