If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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