It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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