Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
