yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
