therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
