Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
