Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
