3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
don't judge my taste in strippers
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
