Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
