SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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