Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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