I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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