They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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