it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
