CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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