he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
don't judge my taste in strippers
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
