Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dick very happy bro
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
