Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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