Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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